I spend a lot of my time these days listening.
Its a skill I feel I am on rung no 1- 3 of on the infinity ladder. I say between 1 and 3 because if I’m tired worried then my levels of listening are impaired. As a counsellor its my job to listen but I find it ever more important in just dealing with everyday encounters and also in deeper communications with my loved ones. Now it may seem obvious to you but I think I’m only really beginning to appreciate how DIFFERENT we all are …..and how differently we see and experience the world around us. I have begun to realise that sometimes I’m talking about something which seems painfully obvious to me but to others its like i’ve started to speak Chineese. I’ve also realised that most people won’t hold up their hands and say..hang on a minute you are speaking a funny language and I have NO IDEA what you are now saying.
Instead they pretend and nod and so………… I carry on thinking they have heard me .
However when I’m really listening and not just concerned with my own view , my own speech and feeling there will be a felt sense inside me that the person I’m talking to has energetically moved away. When I feel this, I now have learned to become very quiet inside and to really ask what they are experiencing. If I’m able for just a while to put my own agenda aside I may hear something completely new in the space. In close relationships this takes courage and some level of power. It takes power to stop and allow the button that might have been pressed to smart and hurt while you listen and try to step into their shoes…..it can HURT….
But, if you can do it sometimes incredible stuff can happen. The other might begin to speak to you in ways they have never done before. I experienced this recently with a close family member. Just by me allowing a quiet space and by consciously opening my heart to the other and allowing them to be /feel/say whatever they wanted to …they opened in a way that was so touching it was worth diamonds. So thought id share it with you in case you want to give it a try…come on up the ladder ..the view is lovely from Rung 3……wonder what its like up there on rung 100….or 500……must be so cool. xxx