I’ve been pondering the nature of surrender for some time now. Not because I’m some kind of spiritual whizz kid but simply because life is demanding me over and over again to let go …to surrender. To give up control (or seeming control) and to free flow into life trusting that all will indeed be well.
This state of being is talked about a lot in the spiritual world. Let go let God… ride the wave, don’t fight life flow with it. Well if you have ever tried surfing out on a rough ocean then you will know what it takes to flow……. in one of my beginners lessons on a grey beach in Cornwall, I was told to go against my instinct to lean backwards to balance my point of gravity. But actually as the wave took me to have the courage to lean forwards and to go with the great rush of energy underneath me. On one of the few occasions I managed to stay upright enough to do this the exhilaration was unbelievable!
So if I apply this principle to life it goes like this . All my instincts tell me when things are chaotic or scary to do what I can to bring them back under control. For most of us this looks like pushing….we have to MAKE things work. I see it at exhibitions when vendors go into fear and start hard selling to innocent by passers….BUY BUY BUY. They are pushing because they haven’t sold much and are worried they won’t cover their costs. They are pushing the ocean! I’ve been guilty of this too in some circumstances… so no judgement! However when my awareness is good, I sit quietly. I withdraw my energy and become peaceful inside. I then create good feelings and begin to share this feeling of peace and good wishes with the room. I imagine light touching everyone walking past. I give thanks for my life, for my health, for the music……what happens? Always something beautiful, someone will come up and start talking to me, sometimes a small crowd will gather…always there is a shift. From fear and pushing to peace and allowing. Like the surfer who sits quietly on the board waiting for the right TIME…the right wave. Then she rides the wave …leaning forward and feeling the rush of life.
It takes courage…..poise……presence, to surrender. BUT most importantly it takes a willingness to live in the place you are ..the place of ambivalence where one moment you are in flow and the next you are racing round like a loony trying to control life again…the next you are just afraid. We are on the road….to be a surfer takes a lifetime…to truly surrender and trust the divine …to know I am carried by life at all times even when its very very hard…this may take lifetimes. Truth will not be rushed. So this is my practice, to watch myself each day learning…getting it wrong then remembering and easing the hold a little. Then sometimes free falling into magic and riding the wave of true surrender…..wheee