Here we are again.
The shops are full of twinkly lights and decorations and the Christmas album is on repeat. The films are all about cosy families in front of fires eating chocolates and saying how much they love each other.
Romance is packaged and re-packaged through advertising with soft focus photos of beautiful ( thin) couples in love. As if to remind us that to be without this particular kind of love in our lives makes us some kind of epic failure.
Christmas seems to bring into sharp focus: nostalgia, loss and any feelings of lack we might have.
Beware comparisons with perfect families and perfect couples in perfect houses straight from the scenes of THE HOLIDAY. If you are playing the Mp3 ive added to this post ( press play above ) you might be right in that scene now, dancing with Jude Law or Cameron Diaz in the snow !!! sigh
Often the reality is very different. Fraught family gatherings with underlying unresolved stuff. The pressures of buying the right present for people you dont even know that well, or in some cases even like.
Or you are alone at Christmas and don’t have family or a close circle of friends, maybe you are a carer looking after a loved one who is sick and are already exhausted and wrung out.
Whatever your story please take heart in the knowledge that there are many who do not fit into the perfect picture we are sold at Christmas. Many feel sad, like they don’t fit, while many pretend they are ok and smile through…… faking Christmas cheer whilst feeling isolated and alone.
You are not a failure …you are human
You are not a failure….. Life is challenging and all manner of stuff happens to good people
You are not a failure….you are learning something
Please do one thing. Bring comapssion to the self. Walk gently through the holiday and take time to do something nurturing for the self. If you can’t celebrate your self and your strength at least do not beat and add to your weakness. Compassion is the best method for change and the ability to bring about change lies within you. You are powerful beyond your knowledge. Watch the video below ( from REACH )
Then read this each day
You can be the author of your own story and the director of your own film. Slowly and gently begin this Christmas to take back the reins…with love and with compassion.
May your Christmas be peaceful, courageous and compassionate. x